The Boyahda Tree Project

It was a stormy Darksday when two adventures headed into the The Boyahda Tree with nothing more than their blades and jumbo-sized vat of melted Seblina butter. They were never seen again. Weeks later a Ranger Scavenged their footage from the marshy soil...

Not knowing what he had stumbled across the Ranger brought the footage back to his home nation of Windurst. Several Tarutaru in the Aurastary tried to recover the film but no form of magic was able to retrieve the data. The call was sent to the great engineer. The footage was sent over to Bastok and straight up to Cid's lab. He toiled over the footage for several Vana'diel weeks and finally was able to recover the film.
"ha ha, When are those Tarutaru going to learn that it is about manual labor not simple spell cast that solves most problems..." Cid who had viewed most of the film while trying to restore it called in the Mythral Musketeer and the Ranger who found the tapes.
"I think you should take a look at this, I think this is those two Adventurers that went missing not to long ago." The Ranger, and several other gathered in Cid's lab and queued up the film. The footage was not best, badly degraded from the mossy ground it had spent time in ground, but the start seemed to be the start of an Adventurers day....


"It's Darksday, I have no clue what day, but I think the year is 1035..."
"Yea 1035...come on let's go..." Two Adventurers an A very attractive Hume Red Mage and a cute little Mithra Samurai looked like they were standing outside of the entrance to The Boyahda Tree.
"No, I am not getting all the way there and finding out I forgot something."
"..."
"Food?"
"Got it.."
"Weapons, ammunition and the like?"
"Got it"
"15lbs of Selbina Butter and Fire Crystals?"
"Fire Crystals, got it..." The Mithra suddenly started to blush.
"Come on, *please* don't tell me that you stashed the butter in your Mog House again? I thought you already stocked up last time." There was giggling and sticking out of tongues. The two looked happy.
"I've got the butter, but it is only 10lbs worth. I was running low and I have a friend coming over tonight."
"You are not borrowing the camera after the last time, I am still trying get butter out of the some of the dials." There was more laughing and motions made. "Okay, let's go...Oh! you got a way to get home, I am not going to feel like walking off a Crab Boil."
"Yea I'm good."

The two entered the tree still laughing and poking fun at each other. The tape cut in and out a bit here, but it seems that they had made plans to get to top of tree. Soon thou it broke into a much darker tone. No longer was the group staring at the faces of two happy carefree adventurers.

The Samurai had her blade raised in battle as did the Red Mage what they were fighting could not been seen from the angle the camera was positioned.
"Nothing wants to stick." The Red Mage said, breath heavy. It seemed that she had taken allot of Damage.
"We'll be fine."
"I don't know it's just too fast."

The footage broke up some more or maybe the camera was getting tossed around.

"We have one shot to run away. When I say go we get the hell out of here." The Red Mage geared out and began casting a spell. The Quality was too bad to tell what spell was being cast. "Let's go!" The video shook wildly at this point before cutting out again.

"Where are we!" shouted the Red Mage
"I don't know." flushed the Samurai, both looked beaten, tired and sullen. "It is still behind us?"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE, I THOUGHT YOU HAD A MAP."
"I NEVER GOT THAT COFFER."
"I think I hear something." The Red Mage look back around a corner. "RUUUN!!!!" both head off in different directions. The camera seemed to hit the ground at this point along with the Mage. She was down but not taken out. She dragged herself up and attempted to get one final cast off. Next thing she was running.

The footage cutout again. The footage came back in the camera was close on the Red Mage's Face.

"I don't know where I am right now or if anyone will ever see this, but I am alone, being chased but *it*. I don't know how much time I have, but *it* just won't leave. I lost my kitty. I have to go look for her now, but I don't know where *it* is." Her word were heavy and she was out of breath. She raised her head skyward. "Altana, please if you can hear me, I want to see my kitty again, I want to see Bastok again." Sounds are heard and a look of panic runs across her face.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" she screamed "IT'S BACK AGAIN, WILL IT EVER STOP CHASING ME!!!" she runs with the camera bouncing around. This last for a few minutes and then the screen goes black. The black only last for a moment. We open to another place in the tree.
"Thank Altana I found you. I was scared that I would never see you again."
"..."
"Why are standing in the corner like that?" There was a crash and the film cutout once again, this did not seem to be the footage, just the camera went black.


The was a still in the room till the Ranger fled the room screaming, it was just more than he could handle. Iron Eater was the first to speak. "Is that all you could recover?"




Okay, okay so Slasher Kitty and I were seen again, but we did encounter *it* in the The Boyahda Tree and *it* is one VERY mean Crab by the way of Aquarius. We were feeling a little cocky after taking down a certain Buffalo name Bonnacon we thought that a Crab was going to be nothing much, but let me tell you kiddies, that crab raped us hard. He did not even bother to use all that Selbina Butter that Slasher Kitty was carrying around with her(and no, she does not carry it around because we fight allot of crabs). Aquarius and his "Hundred Claws" made chopped meat out of us, but we dusted ourselves off and eliminated a few hundred Steelshells as revenge.

For Al Zahbi?

I have gained a strong love/hate relationship with Besieged. I so much want to do my Red Mage duty and defend Al Zahbi, but besieged leaves alot to be desired. So why oh why do I keep finding myself in Al Zahbi trying to see through the hellish Lag and attepmting to do anything even though I feel like I do nothing. So I sit down in next to HQ Warp Taru(I loathe him, but I have to do what I can) doing alittle money laundering of my own and I think why do people Besiege. Are they truly there for the honor of defending Al Zahbi from the beastman hordes? Do they just have nothing better to do? I feel a vibration from my hip and see that I have recieved a message. It is from a friend in Al Zahbi, the words are chilling: "They are coming again...."

Being a Red Mage who demands answers I grab some Parchment, Black Ink and pulled a feather from my hat and started to ask around while I waited for the Undead Swarm to break through the Gates of Al Zahbi. I pestered anyone who would stop and talk to me, and I found that no one really gives a shit about Al Zahbi, the desire to besieged is all of a Me, Me, Me affair.


Group One: Nobody Loves Me

First Person I asked was a Dragoon, he was elvaan so the eye was natually drawn to him. He just sort of looked at me and laughed. "This is the only way I can get EXP, I am not lucky like a RDM who barley has to put their flag up to get a party invite. To me this is just a way to actually get to stick my Lance into something." His Wyvern, Rover was sitting obediently by his side, seemed to perk up at the idea of actually geting to kill someting. "I really don't care much about Al Zahbi, I mean this place really needs better security, they can't keep relying on us to keep this place safe."

As I was gathering my notes together from the Dragoon, I tripped over something. I looked down to find I had just stumbled over a tarutaru Dark Knight. After I apologized I ask, "Waiting for your chance to defend Al Zahbi?"
"I don't give a flying Galka about Al Zahbi." he laughed "No one loves the Dark Knight, it has been so long since I have gotten to bloody my blade that I crave the thrill of the fight."
"I like Dark Knights..."
"You are a rare one Miss, I can sit waiting for a Party to ask me for days, Besieged is the only way that I can level, and even in here I have to go at it solo..." He walked away in a huff. 'The Plight of the Dark Knight' I thought to myself. Tragic....

It would seem that no one loved Al Zahbi, or cared for the tiny Warp Taru who is often subjected to {Rear} {Hole} {Penta Thrust} by a burly Troll Destroyer who likes to sing show tunes, No wonder he never gets a chance learn how to Warp people correctly. I was wondering around looking for more people to talk to about this curious situation when I heard a commotion coming from a remote corner of Al Zahbi. I figured that Beastmen had found a way to sneak in, so I buffed up and ran to the commotion. All that I found was a group of Mithra Puppetmasters who were "Dancing" for Clink-Clink. I stood back and watched and waited for them to take a break. Once things calmed down I spoke to the leader of the trio.


"Maybe I will talk to you, but I need prrrretty shiney coin to talk to you." I dug deep in my pockets and pulled out a Mythril Coin. "Oooooo Big Shiney, Sparky This nice lady get you Black Mage head." The puppet danced around for a moment.
"Hang on now, you get the Clink-Clink when I get some answers. Why are you here today, are you waiting to protect the citizens of Al Zahbi?"
"No, I am a Puppetmaster, and that means no one wants me and little Sparrrrky here in therrre Parrrties. So I besieged so I can get Ventriloquy." and with that said she snacted the coin from my hand and went back to performing her show.

I heard the same thing from countless Dark Knights, Puppetmasters and Dragoons. It would seem that they are the forgotten children of Vana'diel forced to defend Al Zahbi just to satisify their primal need as adventurers. I feel bad for this Rabid Maute Dogs scavenging EXP by any means nesacarry, but alas, I feel worse for the Warp Taru. These are not the stock that he needs coming to his aide. I think that I will buy him some Goblin Grease next time there is some up at the Auction House. I think he is going to need it.

Group Two: Greed

There has to be more than just the forgotten children of Vana'diel here. I look around me and I see hundreds of people who not the forgotten children. I know that these people obviously don't have trouble getting parties, so maybe they are here to proctect Al Zahbi, to protect the Warp Taru.

I started to wonder around looking from one of these people that I could ask when I saw a Galka holding a tarutaru against the wall. Before I charged in to help I stood back and listened.
"Tell me little smart guy, how much I get?"
"Ouchie-wowchi...." I am not sure if the taru could breath "You do everything you can and you will get the max, about 1800 or so. It depends." The Galka dropped the Tarutaru.
"Now see little smart guy, was that so hard."
"Put me down you brute, you better hope you don't get charmed, because if you do I will Burst II you into obvlion." The Galka dropped the Taru and he went running off.

"Ready to defend Al Zahbi my good monk?"
"I am ready to get rich."
"Come again?"
"This weak Empire is going to make me rich, because they need us to defend their walls. I mean it is not like I am going to lay my life down for honor or any of that garbage. I am a Galka, and we Galka have suffered enough at the hands of lazy Humes and Elvaan, and don't get me started on those Taru, they have messed up their country so much by aligning with those bird-men."
"How does one get rich fighting? I mean this is not our usual escaped where there is untold riches lying in every corpse we create."
"Eh, just like those Rat-dogs running around here I am after the 'Clink-Clink'. I have a man in Nashmau who will lead me to untold riches for the Clink-Clink."
"What about poor Shihu-Danhu, don't you think that it is your job to protect him?"
"Who? and Why?, if the Empire was worried about protecting their people they would have secured the gates long ago. Miss all I want to get is to get enough standing in this joke of a battle to get the 'Clink-Clink' I need to fleece those Hume, Elvaan and Taru fools out of their gil."

Poor Shihu-Danhu. I think I will buy him two pots of Goblin Grease. While I was thinking about poor Shihu a siren went off to alert the another beastmen horde has begun their plans to strike Al Zahbi. This should cause a massive sigh of disgust, but alas an Elvaan was jumping for joy next to me.

"WOOHOO, I AM GOING TO GET RICH OFF THAT LAZY PUPPETMASTER. THANK YOU BEASTMEN!!!"
"Cheering beastmen on, do you have no shame. I would think a fine Elvaan(black hair, nice eyes) like yourself would have better values."
"Hey Lady, it's because of these beastmen that I am able to look so good. There is some dumb Puppetmaster back in the safe zone that is jonsin for a Valoregde frame to turn his little doll into a slash and dice Roppi Doll, and to that he needs coin. I told him that for the right price I would over look his cowardness and get him the coins he needs. I see a Haubrek in my future."

I walked over to Shihu-Danhu and patted him on the back. I asked how his wounds were healing and he said one simple thing "Why do you think I am always standing?" Poor kid, too bad his asshold brother ran him out of the safe zone. I could not handle the greed surrounding me. So I sat off to find if there was anyone who was willing to defend Al Zahbi, No if there was anyone willing to defend the Warp Taru!!!!

Group Three: Skillers

For the many time that I have laid spell and blade up in the defense of Al Zahbi there have been one group of leeches that has always intrigued me. Those lowly youngsters who can do nothing of value to defend Al Zahbi. Why are they here for what reason do they come to die?

I have found that these fools tend to stay in packs chatting in Linkshells about farming behive cheaps so they get there next spell. I stumbled, literly stumbled over a Tarutaru BLM. I looked her over and noticed that she was hiding the level she achieved, but she was wearing a Seer's Robe(not even the HQ one).
"Say kiddo, did you have a hard defeating Maat?"
"Who?"
"You know Maat, the creepy old guy in Jeuno who wants you to go pick up drugs for him."
"Oh, him. I heard people in my linkshell talking about him, but I myself have never meet him." Oh how I longed to play a rousing game of "Punt the Taru" right then.
"You've never met Maat, but you are here to defend Al Zahbi, what can the likes of you do to help my friend Shihu-Danhu out?"
"Defend Al Zahbi, nah. I am here for the skills. The beastmen hordes will help me to hone my skills in Elemental and Dark Magic. If I am lucky there will be some squisy Puks that I cast Dia on to help out Enfeebling Magic." I checked my watch to see that by the time the beastmen made it here it would be Lightsday. *note to self: Burn Down Windurst*


I could not tolerate, I just walked away. I mean, I am a Red Mage, and know that the beastmen horde that is slowly advancing will help me to hone my skills, but alas I am here to defend Al Zahbi, and to defend my friend Shihu-Danhu, but when I lay down my blade it penetrates the flesh of evil with divine justice. When I raise my voice in mighty cast I know that whoever is at the other end of it will be hurting for many days to come. I feel pride in healing the wounds of and the Sky and Galeserpent Generals whose cause I have taken up banner to fight, but alas it was not just one Black Mage, but many. Even White Mages who have taken the vow to do no harm and to heal the wounded were chatting away about honing there Diving Magic. Even my own kind. The Red Mages, Red Mages who cannot even raise up a fallen comrade giddy over what they will obtain in todays onslaught.

I lowered my head in shame, put down my parchments and began to walk the streets of Al Zahbi. I stopped by the Guilds to see Guildmasters' securing their Anvils and Axes. I went to the Chocobo Stable to see the stablemaster preparing who flock, for she knows that with no adventurer prepared to stand in fight for Al Zahbi it maybe some time before she strokes there soft plume again. I walk up Ulthalam's Parade to see a the daughter of the Dice Vendor crying as she is pulled away to safety. Where are the adventurers to see this moment. A child who wonders if their mother will return home at the end of the day. Vendor after vendor packing away their ware, not knowing if they will have the joy of opening their shops again tomorrow. I head to the Bastion, Ground Zero one might say and gaze upon the Generals, poised and ready for battle. Waiting to defend Al Zahbi, waiting to lay down their lives for the people. I stare alittle longer at the Skyserpent. His Beauty will too soon be marred by the Hammer of a Troll. Finally I go back Shinu-Danhu and look him trying to stow himself safely in the crates he calls him home. I must wonder why he stays, why not Flee away from Al Zahbi, give up magic, but no, this is his Home.

I hear the final siren blare as the gates to the bastion come crashing open. The voice of the Skyserpent ringing in my ears. I raise up blade and charge forward into battle.

For Al Zahbi?

No.

~*~*~FOR THE WARP TARU!!!!!~*~*~

Mega-Monk Kitty Gets his Eight Fist of Death!!!

Today kiddies we take a peek behind the Mog House door of our favorite Monk Kitty. He(yes, the mighty manthra he is) has been busy as of late, and upon reaching level 71 he went to see a man about some knuckles. Our boy put those knuckles through hell, so much hell he actually broke them. He tried to collect the pieces, but have you ever tried to wood shards our of crab shell? Yea, not so much. So he went back to Oggbi expecting to get a Red Mage sized ass whipping for breaking the knuckles, but Oggbi was actually pretty happy. He stole the knuckles back from our Monk Kitty and gave him some "guides" so he could be rewarded. Thinking he got jipped, but never wanting to pass up and opportunity for loot he made his way down to the Bostaunieux Oubliette.

Now, never fear kiddies our Monk Kitty may be a mindless beater in party, but he has sense when it really counts. Joining the PT was Slasher Kitty, Everyone's Favorite Red Mage and introducing Psycho Elvaan Monk Pirate, PEMP for short.. We made our way to San 'd Oria and I pulled on my high waders, because well, RDM AF is Dry Clean only and I do not fathom explaining to my Galka Dry Cleaner why he has to clean poo water out of my shorts. Once we made it down the bowels of the Bostaunieux Oubliette, all the while listening to a Psycho Elvaan Monk Pirate screaming "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" while running through poo water, we found that X, well ??? that marks the spot. Before we pulled out our shovels we had to do alittle Bloodsucker removal, PS, anyone wanna be a summoner, One Carby Ruby to anyone who can make here in time. So once we took care of the little Leech problem Monk Kitty shoved his shovel into the mark and all he got was one rather pissed off skeleton who was none to happy to find a shovel inserted into his pelvic bone.

*hits play on the "Benny Hill" chase music"

Psycho Elvaan Monk Pirate ran in an began to beat the beat the livening shit out this pissed off boner, Slasher Kitty in normal fashion lined up to do if from behind and once she had her rubber glove on she unloaded a huge can of whoop ass on it. Somewhere during this all hell broke loose and thus the Benny hill chase seen begun. I think at some point I actually saw the skeleton wearing a bra and panties when he did hell slash. PEMP was the first to drop, laughing all the way to the floor. Next was our faithfull Monk Kitty and then Slasher Kitty learned just what poo water tasted like. Soon it was down to me and boner, and let me just say, this Skelly is "different" Chainspell + Cure IV made no dent in him, cept to maybe dislodge the shovel from the his pelvic bone. The shovel which he proceeded to beat the living hell out of me with.

*A Small note to my Dry Cleaner* You will be getting a big bonus at christmas.

I will remember from now on when I head the Bostaunieux Oubliette I will always bring towels with me. After getting everyone pulled up on the legde to air out bit we laydown a plan. This was about the time the leech problem decided to come back and to us that is an oppurtunity. So Monk Kitty dipped down and found the shovel and after rinsing some RDM Blood from it he shoved it back in the ground, and this time the Skelly popped out with shovel sticking out of his skull and PEMP ready to beat it's ass hard, it turns out that Monk Relic is Dry Clean only and his dry cleaner is on cranky ass lil taru who is related to Shantotto. Slasher and Monk Kitty were given a few shots in, but PEMP seemed to have a bone to pick with him. Finally it bones crumpled to the floor and Monk Kitty was able get what he was really looking for.

Monk Kitty returned back to Bastok and was rewarded with his Asuran Fist, and now has his "Mighty Eight Fist of Death"(usually his own). Slasher Kitty went back to her Mog House and sprayed the chunks out of her SAM Armor. I bribed my Dry Cleaner with a fresh box of tarutaru treats. Oh, Psycho Elvaan Monk Pirate was recently seen Mooning Kirin and run naked in The Garden of Ru'Hmet screaming "weeeeeeeeee I feel the breeze!"

*All Hail Monk Kitty and his Eight Fist of Death, Congrats on Asuarn Fist*

*And if you see a naked elvaan in The Garden of Ru'Hmet, don't worry he is just proof that not all psychotics are dangerous.

Slasher Kitty gets her flower

It is once again story time kiddies. So grab a Ginger Cookie and Some Selbina Milk and sit down on the pillows to hear a story.

Once upon a time in a place called Vana'diel there lived many people, but there are only a few of those people that this tale outlays. This is a story of death and destruction that could of been avoided if people have some common sense. Our story begins with a very happy Samurai, we will call her Slasher Kitty, SK for short. SK had worked very, very hard slashing things, so hard in fact that a man named Jaucribaix gave her a very special gift, a Tachi of Trails. He told her that once she bloodied that blade enough she would be ready to unlock the potential within herself and be rewarded with an even better prize. Now SK was more than happy to go and bloody that blade as much as she could, and trust me, SK is very good at getthing things bloody. She toiled long and hard till that blade was so bloody it had actually managed to wash away some of the effects of the blade itself. Worried that she had broken the blade she took it back to Jaucribaix and he was actually very happy. He took the blade away from her and sent her on a treasure hunt so that she could get her very special gift.

Now SK had heard about these treasue hunts before and knew that she would need some friends to help out. The first Mog House door that she knocked on was her favorite Red Mage, who is always willing to go out and "hunt" things. Along with them also came Monk Kitty, The King(Queen) of the Black Mage's and Elfy. The group traveled to a dusty little hellhole known as Kuftal Tunnel and took the "Treasure Map" that was given to SK by Jaucribaix to the special spot and out popped a big mean beetle called Kettenkaefer. Now since we were short a certain White Meat Kitty who was off running scams in Aht Urghan this Red Mage stood back and kept the mob in check while the battle insued, but if the battle went smoothly we would not be here right now wouldwe? No, this is where the juices start to flow kiddies. See, we found out that our dear little Elfy is not too bright. Elfy had come to our little Treasue Hunt as his warrior, and our dear SK played Ninja Kitty for this, but Elfy did not understand that when he spams Mega Weapon Skill after Mega Weapon Skill without reguard to a Ninja Tank that his demise is close at hand. I guess it is true that when they make them strong they don't always make them smart.

Now I dear little Elfy forgot something else. This wonderful little thing called shadows. See kiddies, Elfy was sub Ninja with all kinds of shadows that he could cast up to protect himself, but do you think that Elfy would use his shadows to protect him?................................That's right kiddies, not a chance. Elfy used Raging Rush and took all of the hate away from our poor Ninja Kitty and never even tried to get them back up. Soon he used Steel Cyclone and it was the same story over again. So when little Elfy hit the dirt not a single tear was shed. The funniest part of the fight was our Dear BLM, who never pulled hate even once. Why, because our BLM is smart he cast his spells like a good boy so not to make the mob too mad at him. Alas it was our BLM that saved the day and took down the evil Kettenkaefer with his Spells of Boomaga. Slasher Kitty got the proof she needed to get her prize and this Red Mage took to raising silly lil Elfy.

Elfy though could not act like a big boy and say "oops, maybe I should not of done that..." No silly little Elfy cried "but that is what a WAR is supposed to do!"
"No!" shouted our SK, "you need to learn how to gauge your attacks and be smart about things"
"Well I think I am going to just quit WAR, because if I can go nuts it is not worth doing." With that a collective sigh of relief was let by WARs everywhere. Since the moral of the Story kiddies, Don't be a and Elfy. Learn your Job, know your job, and if you can't do that, Well learn to love the taste of dirt in your mouth.

~*~ALL HAIL THE KING(QUEEN) OF THE BLACK MAGES~*~

~*~*~GO GO SLASHER KITTY AND HER MIGHTY TACHI:KASHA~*~*~

You Play too much FFXI when...~

I have always loved the little warning that comes up when login to the game, but really people this is an MMORPG, when playing it develops a life of it's own. Enjoy, Laugh and most all, get back to playing. Feel free to comment wiht your own.

1. You wish you could take a chocobo to work since even at crag prices it would be cheaper than Gas/Insurance/Maintenance

2. You start every sentence with a / (forward slash)

3. You have attempted to cast lot on good items in a takeout order

4. You have requested to be tractored to the bathroom

5. You open your closet and wonder where your moogle is

6. During a long shift at work you attempt to cast Barsleep on yourself

7. You wonder why you macro is not working when trying to eat food

8. When asking someone for a drink you request a YagAde or Melon Juice

10. When someone ask you what you do for a living you tell them to /check you and when they look at you funny you go "Oh Shit! I am on /anon"

11. You start every online conversation with CTRL+ L or CTRL +P

12. When hanging out with friend you tell people that you got a "Party Invite"

13. You threaten to call a "GM" on a co-worker... (Bonus Point if you work somewhere with a general manager)

14. You add the term -ga to the end of everything you say

15. When arguing with someone you are looking for the Auto-Attack button

16. When shooting paperballs into the trash you are claiming to get Throwing Skillups

17. You claim you cannot come to work since you have ToD on your favorite Daytime Television show and you can't let those damn gilsellers beat you to it.

18. When getting candy from the vending machine you claim to have gotten the "uber" drop

19. When a co-worker asked for your last smoke you claim that it is Rare/Ex and cannot be traded

20. You have replaced the term "Bling-Bling" with "Clink-Clink"

21. When someone ask you your name you point above your head

22. You keep hitting Tab and wonder why the Auto-translate isn't working

23. When something goes wrong in your life, you blame the WHM

24. When buying groceries you complain that the Gilsellers keep jacking up the price

25. You ask your boss if they have any relation to Naja Salaheem

Part One: The Bitch is Back!!

*dust off some cobwebs and squashes a few Diremites* THE BITCH IS BACK!!!! that right kiddies, it has been awhile but I am back and as usual pissed off.

I have a few things to discuss today, some funny, some bitchy, and one that is still scaring the shit out of me.


Part One: Nope, this is not the funny, I would not want to let everyone down, I am starting with the bitchy!!!

This Red Mage has turned White! Long ago i capped out White for Sub-job and it has been lingering at 46 for awhile now (yea I know, I only need 37 for sub-job, but how many people only level one job....) and since we have had some *setbacks* on our main jobs (keep you subligar on you will sort of hear about that, but later) I am leveling my White Mage. so let's see, Party layout:
47WHM/BLM (Guess Who)
46RDM/WHM (Ninja Kitty)
48PLD/WAR (Monk Kitty)
46WAR/NIN (Introducing: Beater Kitty 2.0)
47SAM/THF (Random Pickup)
47THF/NIN (Random Pickup)
One Teleport-Altep later we are heading out to Western Altpa for a little Beetle Rape. I breathed a heavy sigh of joy when the best camp in QSC was open, in fact that place was a graveyard, no one was around when we got there. The killing the begins and thou I enjoy WHM, wow back Line Jobs can be a bit borning, especially with a PLD that never loses hate (Love YA JAP!!) When in strolls a level 54 TARU WAR and a High-Level Taru WHM(/anon, but wearing full noble's and maybe the turban, don't remember). I think nothing of this since high levels are always running in and out of QSC but then he pulls an Antican and proceeds to fight it right on top of us. Um... I thought you were *supposed* to learn not to do that when you in Valkrum dunes?
/s RDMKitty Can you please not camp on top of us?
/s Asshataru it's a BLM mob, it too hard to pull back (WTF, I mean, yea, BLM Mobs can be a bitch since they stop to cast, but um... you have hit level 54 on a Melee job, you should know how to deal with a BLM Mob by now... He did manage to get it pulled back, but he was still in the middle of our camp...
He Kills that one, Pulls a WAR Ant Next, and guess what, *has a plate of wizard Cookies for anyone who said*: HE IS STILL CAMPING ON TOP OF US... My first thought to this is that, WTF NOOB? this is not a BLM Mob, so WTH can't you pull it back to at *least* behind the Back Liners?
But...alas, an Asshat is always an Asshat....Here is the log from the what was said:
Asshataru>> im only planning on staying here till emp leaves but if ppl do stupid shit like slap me i usually stay
Asshataru>> so idk
Asshataru>> would u tell a merit pt to leave cuz u were there first?
Asshataru>> i sure as hell wouldnt
Asshataru>> and i wouldnt call it my exp either
Asshataru>> if u would have been nice about and and said nothing i would have r3 ur whole pt
Asshataru>> but i didnt
>>Asshataru : yes, we were here first. your taking the mobs we need to lvl off of and leasving us the ones that are too hard
>>Asshataru : lol, R3 doesnt work till 50 anyways (yes kiddies, we actually had to say that)
Spawn forward around 15 minutes and we have made a GM CAll and were 63rd in Line and he finally leaves, but not before we nearly had a full party wipe because he was ganking all the mobs we should be killing. The GM was a trip but this will prolly go nowhere, still it pissed me off. I mean really waaaaaay back in the Dunes, or at least Qufim Island how camps work. Just like the Porno Store they are at a first come first serve basic, so if you see someone there it is time to move along, find another camp or *AT LEAST* be polite, ask the party, cut a deal...

Well This is part one, just me being Pissy about the Asshats in this game. PS. 50WHM/25BLM as I right this, so the RDM has truly turned white.....

A song for Adventurer's

*Sung to the tune of Stroke 9's "Kick some Ass*

How many people wanna kick some ass?

I used to be a Noob

Grew up in Valkrum Dunes

Everything that could went wrong

Prayed for a raise to come along

I don't miss the dunes

or hearing what does 'voke do

acting like they've been to sky

when you know it's a lie

How many people wanna kick some ass?
I do I do
And how many people sick of holding it back?
I am
Well I am too

My Mage, don't lay a finger on her

Weapon skill got mob off her

'voke timer just alittle longer

'Voke's up and you're a goner

How many people wanna kick some ass?
I do I do
And how many people sick of holding it back?
I am
Well I am too

But I'm really just a sensitive caster
Perpetrating like I am the tank master

Range the mob back to camp

you got a link, you're a real champ....

losing HP more and more

till me and my axe hit the floor

How many people wanna kick some ass?
I do I do
And how many people sick of holding it back?
I am
Well I am too

Piss off your PT

get kicked, hope you can use Flee

damn this Mage can conserve MP

2k till I ding

So chain another mob in...

How many people wanna kick some ass?
I do I do
And how many people sick of holding it back?
I am
Well I am too

My Mage, don't lay a finger on her

Weapon skill got mob off her

'voke timer just alittle longer

'Voke's up and you're a goner

And how many people sick of holding it back?
I am I am
And how many people wanna kick some ass?
I would if I could

But I'm really just a sensitive caster
Perpetrating like I'm the tank master

proving I can 'voke faster

but I'm really just a sensitive caster

AWWWWW Yeah

My Mage, don't lay a finger on her

Weapon skill got mob off her

'voke timer just alittle longer

'Voke's up and you're a goner

And how many people sick of holding it back?
I am I am
And how many people wanna kick some ass?

I said how many people wanna kick some ass?
How many people wanna kick some ass?
What you gonna do when your sick of holding it back?
I think I kick some ass
How many people wanna kick some ass?
I would if I could

But I'm really just a sensitive caster
Perpetrating like I'm the tank master

proving I can 'voke faster

but I'm really just a sensitive caster

Honest

Oh Valkrum Dooms How I loathe thee...

Whenever I feel in need of alittle virtual masochism I head out to Valkrum Dunes. Today I must of been in need of the beating of my life since I all of my mass of wisdom took my level 19WAR out to a dunes party. I did not want a dunes party, but alas some days you take what you can get....


10 Things I hate about the dunes...

1. WARs who are voke-a-phobes: It is the dunes people, WARs Tank, and they need to provoke the mob, but when the mob is raping the WHM like fresh meat dropping the soap you need to use it. I know it may be scary and *gasp* you are going take some damage but FFS that is your job....

2. Drug Abusing BLMs: Tarutaru BLM with 2 Astral Rings, MP Earring, MP Food, and pretty much anything that will give them a drop of MP who spam Thunder and Blizzard faster than Chainspell and wonder why there is so much sand in there gums at the end of the day. Please Put down the fucking pixey sticks, take a valium and learn how to cast right. That way, when you add it up at the end of the day you will actual have *earned* EXP.


3. PLoobs: Picture this, Party of 6, No Sub Jobs, moderate gear (we are not talking gilsellers) who has a Level 75 PLing them... Now normally there is nothing wrong with this, PL is fine and very helpfull, but when you have no subs this means you are usually on your first trip to the dunes and therefore know jackshit about the game in general, let alone their job and later when they get to Qufim or Yuthunga Jungle they have no clue what to do... *bonus points awarded if they are in an endgame style shell and admit they have no level 75 chars at all.

4. Rank 10 Elitist: I really don't care that you have 5 level 75 jobs, Rank 10, CoP, RoZ and ToAU complete. At this point in time you are a level 15(insert whatever job here) DO NOT USE YOUR RANK AS A FUCKING EXCUSE TO TELL EVERYONE THAT THEY ARE DOING IT WRONG.... In fact I want you to use your "wisdom" and "experience" to be helpful, do not laugh at the WAR who has not learned to voke, explain how to use it. Don't join a PT and then demand leader because you obviously know more than a Rank 5 about making parties. Don't show up in all +1 gear and then tell everyone else they are gimp because they are wearing *gasp* the normal gear for that level.

5. No Logic PTs: I have Ranged Attack, we have no RNG or THF that can pull, so logic says that you:
A. Have the WAR with the Boomerang Pull
B. Have the WHM Pull
C. Have the WAR in level 7 gear ghetto pull using Provoke.
D. Let Everyone Pull, because it is only fair that we take turns
E. Any Answer but A.

If you said "E" you would be correct.

6. Nakie Parties: DO NOT COME TO VALKRUM DUNES NAKED AND THEN WONDER WHY YOU ARE PICKING SAND OUT OF YOUR GUMS. I am not asking for pimp, I am not even saying that you need level specific gear(thou that helps) but something, hell wear your starter gear and an Akerton, but have something that offers you def will be helpful. *bonus point for the Nakie player being a WAR or NIN...


7. Great Sword or Great Axe using WARs: This is a personal gripe and I find this more of the no sub-job set. They think that it is Uber to run around using a GS or GA on WAR because ooooh the DMG is huge... but then you watch them Whiff and a RDM using a Bee Spatha is out damaging them.

8. Sub Job insanity: MAGE/MELEE (Todays self-abuse featured a WHM/THF) or MELEE/MAGE WAR/WHM may be a Ghetto PLD, but really you have about 30MP, just sub MNK. ANYTHING /PUP but espeically WAR, this a new breed of Voke-a-phobe WARs who sub pet jobs to get out of having to actually Tank.

9. Melee Mage Power: This is for WHM, BLM & SMNs who think that need to take out there paddle and melee on every mob that is pulled into camp and then wonder why their teammates are dying or why there Cure has no effect on the mob. Bonus points awarded to Galka WHM and SMNs or Melee and go AFK

10. Skillchains and Magic Bursting: Any VD Veteran knows that Skillchains and Magic Burst happen by accident in the dunes. A well heeled party might be able to pull off some on purpose, but really it is rare. So please don't bitch that the No Sub Job player Fucked up your skillchain or don't get pissy when they ask what a skillchain is...


Stay Tuned folks since I still have not gotten WAR to 20. 2 hours of torture and I think I earned a whopping 1k EXP. I would of ditched the party, but eh, I had nothing better to do...

Be All you can be...(Warning Long....)

Be All you can be...(Warning Long....)

Warning I am in a long and ranty mood today.....

I love the fact that FFXI is a Massive world that is filled with many people and many different ideas, but that is also what I hate about it.

I hate it because it breeds the foul stench of elitism that infects many of those it comes across. Once a small few get an idea in there head they force that idea onto any and all they come across. They feel that if everyone does not do it there way they ought not to be playing at all.

These are also those people the promote the vile idea of "Pimp or Gimp" when it comes to equipment used, but alas, that is the least of my concerns. If idiots want to waste there momeny on getting everything that is consider "Uber" that is there own dumb assed fault.

Job Abuse
EVERY Job in this game has it's strenghs and weaknesses. Those who choose to play those jobs must take the time to learn the nuances of those jobs and to compensate for the shortcomings that they may have. However when one falls into the clutch of the elitest they often sell themselves short.

There are alot of jobs that suffer from that.

Ninja:
I love my Ninja, she is awesome tank and a great person to hang out with, but the whole NIN Tanking thing is about the most overrated BS that has shot down the pipe. The belief that NINs are the best tanks in the game is petuated by lazy mages and elitest who want to pimp any job /WHM for Main Heal.

I am not saying that NINs can't tank, but for fucks sake people NINs have some much more to offer in a party that is overlooked because they just want them to tank.

NINs are on of the best Melee DoT players in the game. The short delay on Katanas, Subtle Blow and Dual Weild enhancements allow the NIN to hit fast and to hit constant. With combined with even average ATK and ACC gear it the DoT rating gets higer. Katana Based Weapon skills do divine damage on there own or can be combine with other weapons for fablous skillchains for a nice damage spike.

This can be further heightend by breaking the subjob rule for NINs, drop the tacky WAR ORNY opinion that most NINs and players have and you can increase there effectivness in party tenfold.

NIN/THF: /THF is popular for a reason, thou my option of SATA is it is a tad overrated it definatly has it's place. Low Delay Katanas and Good ACC allow the NIN to build TP at a rather Rapid Rate. Combining even a low level skill such as Blade:Retsu with Sneak Attack, Trick Attack or Both can add an even more signifigant Damage spike. Now, this will never happen since it takes away that precious ability to provoke thus alas, the party may need to get an actual Tank like, oh, I don't know... a Paladin....

NIN/RDM: It is a odd on, but is allows a NIN to make better use of the Ninjitsu that they have. Added INT allows for the Elemental Ninjitsu to hit harder and more effectivly. It will also boost the NINs ability to use the Ninjitsu enfeebles. At higher levels /RDM would give the NIN so added buffs allowing them to be able to use there shadows more effectivly. This also adds the Fast Cast job trait cutting down the cast time for Ninjitsu

I am not excluding NIN/WAR since it is usefull, but alas also pretty lackluster, the biggest advantage that you get is provoke, which is only usefull if you are tanking. Can a NIN be a good tank, yes, and if there is not a PLD out there they will do a fine job, but remember there is alot more the NIN can do.


Red Mage....
Okay...this is one is a hotbed of elitest BS and abuse on a regular basis. I will make this point for a Party layout the subjobs for a RDM are limited. I would say that /WHM or /BLM since it will provide the RDM with the best advantages to use all their skills to the fullest. Job combos such and RDM/NIN, RDM/WAR and RDM/DRK are situational and should only be used in a party setup if it is needed for the specfics of the party. With that said the RDM's roll is party is one of many hats.

Melee RDM:
I am getting this one out of the way first since it is the on that almost everyone bitches about and frankly, bite me. The Red Mage is one of the few jobs in the game that can fill nearly every position in party. The top priority being enfeebling of course. Any RDM should start out with getting the Debuffs out. Properly setup macros can allow a RDM to be engaged on the mob and still keep up buffing, curing and debuffing. A well balanced RDM will have Sword or Dagger skill leveled (Dagger is not the best in most setups due to the low damage that it has) and have enhancing magic leveled up(does not have to be capped even thou it helps) so that they can use mob targeted en-spells to add extra damage to the weapon. Now the main argurment against this is that the low damage they have will only feeds the mobs TP and does not really help at all. Um... No. As long as the player has taken the time to level skills and has proper weapons there damage with will be on par with the rest of the single-handed weapons users in party. There are execptions to this rule, but that is where the RDM shines when things dip in the melee facet of things they have the ability to move more full attack in other areas.

Back Line RDM
Post Level 30 and ESPECIALLY post level 41 this is where most RDMs get stuck, I feel that this a disservice to what the RDM is truly capable of, but it has its place in the world. If there is not WHM avail a RDM can main heal once they get Cure III and with /WHM the bonus -ana spells and higher Enhancing Magic do help the RDM do this. Back Line RDM is also good for certain contional battles. I find that when you are A. The only person with Cure or B. Surrounded by Higher levels who can "Solo" the mobs that you are fighting it is easier to just keep the buffs up than worry about meleeing. This is even more true if you have mostly mage gear since battles such as AF3 mobs you will need a more dedicated Melee Set.

The Other Side of the Coin....

Okay everyone listen up!
1. If your job can do it you will be called upon to do it at one point in time.
This is directed at a few DD ORNY SMNs I know who feel that *gasp* being asked to Main Heal a Party is beneath them and will NEVER do it even when partying with a group of close friends. Um... Boot to the Head... If ANY non-Whm can main heal a party it is a SMN, more for the MP than anything else. RDM have a tad advantage since they do get Cure IV, but any WHM knows that Cure IV is used so little in party that it is really neither here nor there. A SMN even is crappy gear has close to double to MP of even a WHM, post level 25 they have Auto-Refresh so as long as they do not have an avatar out they have a 1MP/tic Refresh. I know that playing main heal sucks, been there done that, but the reason you have a sub-job is to use those advantages for the aide your PT. Also, as much as it sucks and may be alittle elitest after a certain point SMNs are wanted more for there buffs than actual DD. I personally have no issue with SMNs letting there pets Melee, but I do get pissed when we have no WHM, a SMN is in PT with over 75% MP and has failed to cast even a Cure, let alone Cure II or III even once in SEVEN FIGHTS!!!!

2. Just because you can do it, does not always mean you should do it...
I touched on this one earlier, but I would like to expand a bit. To start, I do not include Missions, End-Game, BCNMs or any other NON EXP Party in this since the very nature of them sometimes requires odd combos for it to work. There are also certain combos that work well in EXP parties but only till certain levels. However I will never invite a MAGE/NIN for a EXP Party. My top pet peeve with this would be RDM/NIN since for EXP parties it holds no benifit. I mean, all you really get is shadows and even a MELEE FRONT LINE RDM will not have need for shadows in party. Some will argue that it will be Dual Wield, but Dual Wield I with Swords will put such a high delay on the weapon that it is truly a waste of time. Also, for EXP Parties a RDM needs MP, long chains and IT++ mobs make keeping some enfeebles up a bitch, and well, Crabs and Beetles are a sucker for Dispel every 2 minutes, so having the most MP you can get from /WHM or /BLM or even at the worst /SMN will be the most benifical to your PT. Please by all means you can still melee, but IMO /NIN in EXP PT only serves to try to get yourself out of being all a RDM can be.
When I hear SMN/NIN, WHM/NIN or BLM/NIN I pray that they are soloing and for SMN I have only seen it work once and that was for a 50% reduction to spell interuption rate for the Mini-Battles. If I hear this in an EXP I tend to want to run headlong off the nearest cliff.

DRK/NIN -- um... part of me want to say: Just No, but alas what form or Rage Fuel RDM would I be if I left it at just that. Now let me say again, that I do not play DRK, so if there is a justable reason other than shadows please advise, but the problem is just that, as my favorite DRK would say "DRK/NIN is just LOL..." Dual Wield? Why, since Scythe or GS is your best weapon choice. Shadows? Um... Drain, that is all I can say. You are going to get hit, just deal with it, and use your abilites to your advantage. Please use a subjob that you can benifit from.

Okay kiddies, todays rant is over. I could go on and on, but I will spare you the nastier words.

I was a Vana'Diel Drug Mule....

"Crystaltime Television for Hume Females Presents the Dark Tale of a Red Mage lured into the Grimy world of Drug Muling for the sake of Proving her worth.... "

I was a Vana'diel Drug Mule....

Seriously thou, after completing LB4 I have come to the conclusion that Maat is a Drug Dealer and all adventures are being used to help him get his supplies. I am not really sure who he selling it too, but I really have to wonder what is up with him and that moogle... SOMEONE CALL P.E.T.A NOW!!!!

Let's look over the "Items" that Maat needs for you to prove your worth to him.

Limit Break 1: In Defiant Challenge

Ancient Papayrus: {Hmm.} I don't know about you boys and girls but that sounds like Rolling paper to me.
Exoray Mold: Well, he does need something to stick in that paper and since I am sure no Ranger in there right mind is going to give up their hat so Maat can get on with some Moogle lovin', he has to resort to some {Black Magic} {Mushrooms}. I am not sure *anyone* would want to smoke mold, but it must take more than Fermented Yagudo Drinks to get the Moogle Happy.
Bomb Coal: My guess is our old boy is too "High Class" for a couple of Flint Stones so he needs a more "Elite" way to light his bud.
Maat seems to be pretty good at limiting his usage because he wait 5 whole levels before he needs you to pick up the next "shipment"

Limit Break 2: Atop the Highest Mountain

Frigicite: Round, Square or Trianglar it seems the old man wants to he hit with all the cool kids. Looks like the old man is pushing to all those Bard Kiddies that Rave late into the night at the Merry Minstrel. I am sure that old man is keeping a stash for himself to make sure he can still dance late into the night for that poor moogle.

Limit Break 3: Wence the Wind Blows...

Orcish, Quadav and Yagudo Crest: Looks like Windurst is not the only ones making deals with the beastman. Seems our old boy is sending his mules out to pick up some harder stuff. I think the name of this quest says it all; Blow. That's right boys and girls the old boy is dipping into the nose candy. Ever wonder what it really means to be in a manaburn party. An Eightball of Maat't shit will keep those chains running long and hard. This stuff is top notch thou, I mean what else are players out earning limit points for. The more limit points they have the better and purer the powder. Come to think of it, I bet that is really what keeps the Old boy dancing all day and night.

The Delivery system makes me believe that the Ducal Guards may be getting wise to the old boy thou, he is having to come up more clever ways of getting his stuff in the city. Sending and "Adventurer" out to infiltrate a beastman lair is seen as a good deed so no one questions why he keeps having all of those "Crest" delivered.

Limit Break 4: Riding on the Clouds

Strange Stones: More like Blotter tabs... Maat wants the good children of Vana'diel to "Riding the clouds", but we all know that is just code for Tripping Out. Seems he has some suppliers all over the land that our mixing up home brew for him and making it nice and small and tab shaped. Perfect size to drop on your tongue and start to watch the world melt away. You know I bet that is what Shantotto uses in her "Special" mixtures. The rampant sale of these would explain why you see so many people running into walls...

Limit Break 5: Shattering Stars

I have not personally taken on this challenge yet, but I have some suspicions about it. I mean why would your good buddy suddenly want to fight you after all you have done for him? What is on that "Testimony" that pisses him off so much. I bet he just found out that you are in the list of witnesses being called to testify in his Drug Trafficking case and now the old boy wants to take you out. See how much love you get in the end.

*Afterthought*
Nomad Moogle: Innocent Victim or Partner in Crime
That moogle stands there is watches Maat dance. Has he been drugged with the same "goods" that Maat is pushing across Vana'diel so that Maat can have his way with the moogle on the dark and cold nights or is the Moogle a partner in crime helping Maat to deliver his goods to the good children of Vana'diel. At this stage it is impossible to tell, but I have to wonder why he seems to dazed and confused when you talk to him?...

A Lesson to Random Level 75s....

Okay kiddies, this Red Mage is pissed off.

* STORY TIME!!!*

Once Upon a time My Static and I are out enjoying ourselves raping random birds in Caedarva Mire to Cap EXP before going to to do LB3. When some *ROCKSTAR* of a level 75MNK comes and starts ganking our EXP Mobs. Now I am as flighty to get pissed over them killing one bird, we were taking a potty break so it was not a big deal for me or anyone else. Then he gets aggroed by a Skely, now at this point I am only half paying attention to the screen since I am on the phone and looking for some random lost item near the bed. When all of sudden he does a /say for a cure. Now, remember I am not really watching the screen and did not have time to even react to him when he drops. Also note kiddies that near him (in same party, fighting same mobs) are 2BLUs and a RDM in Full(ish) Relic Armor. I pretty much blow this off and go back to find my missing item. Finally item in hand, rest of my PT back from various drink, potty, smoke, blood returning to lower extremites break we get ready to get rolling again, and that is when the tells start popping up my screen....
Level75Noob>> I am going to gank all of your EXP Mobs since you would not cure me
(I never actaully respond to any of these tells and these are tells coming from a couple of different people in my PT)
Level75Noob>> All I needed was a simple cure and you just stood there and ignored me, I mean I could of one hitted that skelly, but nooooo I have to lose EXP because you suck (um... let me see you choose to not switch target to the Skelly that you could one hit and continue to hit the {Too Weak} Bird...right....)
Level75Noob>> I mean it is common courtsey to help people out (um... let's see there are so many things wrong with statement.)
At this point the convo just sort of faded out since I am not one to listen to inane drivel from someone who prolly bought their account.

{Gather Together} Kiddies because there is a moral to the story today, in fact as I spin the "Wheel of Morality" I see that there are several lessons to be learned here today.
1. I am not your Random PL. Just because I am standing there in the same zone as you does not mean that I am going to PL you. This is not Valkrum Dunes or Qufim Island hunny, this is Caedarva Mire, if you don't know how to play on the big kids playground go back to the toddler pit where all of the mobs have safety devices on.
2. Please...even if you are asshat enough to buy your account, learn the job you are trying to fake it at. I mean, hell the MNK in my Static knows how to use {Chakra} to save his Manthra ass.
3. *If* you claim to be able to one hit something, do it, don't stand there and let it is have it's Necrophiliac way with you while you struggle to take down a {Too Weak} Birdy with 3 other people.
4. Trust the People you party with. I am a RDM so I would hope that the RDM is Relic that is standing next to you would at least have Cure I that they could cast on you.
5. Do I look like your Mother? I know that you are prolly some 14 year-old wanna be uber-133t who's mommy still feeds you and wipes you backside, but really I am not in this game to babysit you. I am a pretty helpfull person, hell my LS is founded on helping people and having fun, but only someone whose mommy has convienced that they are "Special" would think that everyone owes them help.

The kicker to the story is that we know other people who are in the same LS as him and *Surprise, Surprise* he has a rep for being a jack-ass and have of the LS have him /blisted for that.

Oh! Mommy Red Mage has one finaly thing to leave you with"

"Your Mom, Dad, Autie, Grandma and Guidence Counsler lied, you are not special, you are an in-duh-vidual just like everyone else, so grow-up, buck-up and kindly: STFU!!!!!"

"Now you know... and knowing is half the battle!!"

A Note to SquareEnix...

Dear SquareEnix,

I love a good challenge. I love a good fight. I love the feeling of opening the treasue box and seeing that the item that I desire is just waiting for me to lot on it. What I don't love is the shitty drop rate on AF/Quest Items. I understand low drop rates on weapons that are just being hunted or items that tend to fetch a decent price at auction, but really must you make us suffer when it comes to getting gear that we cannot Sell or Trade and is only going to be used for us!!!

Example #1: White Mage AF3: The Tavnazia Bell
Enter the horrid Death Pit known as The Eldieme Necropolis. Two people had already been hunting Shades for 2 hours with no drop. This is where I am called in since I know wher the Dark Stalkers are. After playing gate roulette we make it to the spot we need. The killing begins. I have crystals out the ass but no bell for our poor White Mage. We are verging on hour 3 and still no drop. It is two much of risk with the damn doors to move to the other camp since well, there is always someone playing with the doors.
We move into hour four. We have added a BLU for Faster kills and still no drop. At this point we have taken to killing everything that moves just because we are getting bored. Somewhere around hour 5.5 it drops. There was much screaming and jumping for joy, but really Square, there is no value on the bell other than the WHM AF Quest. It is Rare/Ex so TH or TH2 won't help the drop. Why not make this a 1/5 or 1/10 drop rate and quiting pissing people off with there AF.

Example #2: Coffer Keys
*NOTE TO SE* NO ONE HUNTS COFFER KEYS FOR TREASURE!!! If people are treasure hunt that are THF's using lockpicks and all that Thiefy stuff to pick the lock. No one is wasting there time to hunt Coffer Keys to get the lame ass shit out of the coffers. Who is hunting coffer keys you may ask? Those of us who need their Goddamn AF or Quest Items.
The shout runs though the the Linkshell "Coffer Key White Mage AF Hands Help me out!" Me being the biggest Glutton for punishment says I'll help and we head off to Beadeaux. 2WHMs 1RDM and 1SMN start the battle vs. Vana'diel's mutant ninja turtles and surprise they don't want to give up there keys. The real pisser is that there is a coffer in the room that we are camping so if it dropped our poor WHM could of had their items and we go off and fight the pussy that is Dark Spark.
5 hours later and still no key. There is a treasue coffer staring at us, taunting us and no key. Square you are responisble for the tears of a WHM.

SE oh SE you try to make changes to make the game better but you fail to listen to the tears of WHM crying over a coffer that they cannot open. You push the economy into the gutter, but something that has no value in the game you make elusive to us. There is no Gillsellers camping AF items, there are no Gillsellers trying to barter coffer keys. Do us a favor, SET THE WHM FREE!!!

~*~Raven~*~

{Short Time} {Break}

Our lovley {Ninja} Kitty is moving this week so my using partying situation is on hold at the moment, but that does mean that I am not still roaming the roads of Vana'diel seeing what kind of trouble I can get myself into.


THE (not so) EVIL BUNNY OF DOOM!!!

One of my motto's in this game is {Adventure} {Excitement} {Can I Have it?} so when a LS memeber said "New Moon, tomorrow, Black Coney {Help me Out!}" Now despite the fact that I am only a level RDM60/WHM30 and despite the fact that Black Coney is a level 70-72NM I said sure I'll be there. So at this time, we have a 60RDM and 67RNG signed on to go out and kill Coney. The morning comes and our {Power} {Ranger} is ready to go solo because he does not want to see someone else die.
If it is just going to be you and I don't bother, I don't want to see someone else die
{Um...} Hun if I was worried about dying I would not of volenteered to come in the first place....
So I head to Metalworks and OP to the frozen Wastes... I have alittle surprize in store for our {Power} {Ranger}
PowerRanger: I have a surprize for you! MNK75/NIN37 coming with me
PowerRanger >> {Really?!}
PowerRanger: Yup... I just landed at the Outpost {Invite to Join Party}
***Monkkitty invites you to her party***
(PowerRanger) {Thank you} for coming guys.
(Monkkitty) Sure Evil Bunny of Doom {Can I have it?}
(Darkillusion) oooh I have yet another surprize for you!!
(PowerRanger) {Huh!?}
(Darkillusion) BLM75/WHM37 {Do you need it?}
(PowerRanger) {Yes Please}
After *several* minutes of the RNG jump up and down for joy and thanking us the pop came up for The Evil Bunny of Doom. I will say, this bunny is not that evil. Even with the BLM coming late since finishing a party the first kill went off without a hitch. When the BLM showed up...well let's just say I am still picking Bunny Bits out of my hair. The one thing that does make this bunny a bitch is that 3 kills No Drop.... I will be back for you!!!

The Economny Blows

Some days I feel like my dad talking about the good old days. Soon I feel I like I am going to saying "I remember when to get to a party I have walk 20miles uphill in the snow to get a camp barefoot with no PL" All senior moments aside I really do miss the days when I was able to make about 200k per day farming w/o having thief subbed.
I am not complaining that SE has taken steps to get rid of the gilsellers, but damn the econ is fucked right now. I used to be able to craft and actaully make gil. I really miss the days I could farm silk and sell it for 50k a stack. Sleepshroom 10-15k a stack. Damn, even Darksteel ore used to sell for 20-30k a chunk. Now I can't make gil to save my life.
On the note of Gilsellers, I believe that all of SEs efforts will soon be in vane, since I ran into what we call a "Speedbump" Party, aka 7 tarutarus in starter gear with No Subjobs in Qufim Island No LS and names that were all SSS... Sometimes I still wish we could MPK people.
There was one bit of GS death that I did enjoy. I watch a "Speedbump" getting pwnd by a Goblin Bounty Hunter in Valkrum Dunes. "Opps I forgot that the RDM gets Raise"

Darkillusion Rescue Ranger
Idly wondering around Basty trying to skill up magic I look over to Jenna's screen to see he getting raped by several mean looking Sahagins in SSG, why, she was helping an LS memeber get the Utsemi quest. So out of my Mog I sprang into action. To the Outpost into SSG and to the ill-fated adventures. I raise the young one first but you does not always grant wisdom. He pops up before I have killed the Sahagins and poof is dead again.
Darkillusion uses a Reraise Earring
Darkillusion gains the effect of Reraise
I take my train of new found friends over to jenna and raise her. She like a smart player waits till I have everything aggroed and them runs for the nearest safe ledge to heal up.
Darkillusion is Defeated by the Brook Sahagin
I can solo alot of shit, but 7 Sahagin, EP or not just was not working. It was actually 9 but I had managed to sleep two of them.
Darkillusion uses a Reraise Earring
Darkillusion gains the effect of Reraise
Lather, Rinse, Repeat.... I hate people that don't listen. I mean what part of "Come over here and rest by me so you don't die again" is so hard to understand. We get the statue and now head back to Norg. Somehow he missed the instruction of "Tell us on first warning for sneak" and he dropped about 3 more times, all the time whining about the Damn EXP he lost. I am not sure at this point if I should just warp out and say fuck it or if I actaully want to stay. I stay, but only for Jenna. Thank Altana I don't give a shit about lost exp.
Darkillusion is Defeated by the Rivelut Sahagin
CURSE YOU SE FOR GIVING MOBS CURAGA II!! at this point we just call in a BLM and have them escape us, but damn sometimes I question my nicness.

Okay Folks, I am out for the day, let's see what fun tomorrow brings.

Didn't your mother teach you not to stare?

To set the scene: I am wondering around Ru Lude Gardens waiting for some friends to get in from Bastok {Slowga} {Airship}. I am at my usual spot unloading crap from inventory at the Auction House and I am checked. Okay, I have a Bazaar up with gifts and whatnot. I am checked again, but this time I am no bazaar check. *Looks at chatlog* {hmmm.} same person has checked me twice. I choose to ignore thinking noob in Jeuno prolly checking our gear (Full AF). I get checked a 3rd time, by SAME PERSON! I am starting to get annoyed, what was so special that you need a 3rd peek? That is why the /tell flashes up on my screen.
Randompc >> Why you have a sword?
Randompc: Why Not?
Randompc >> You RDM, RDM = {Back Line Job}
Okay I am REALLY ANNOYED at this point since I know where this is going and I really hate this conversation especially since this is not the first time this has happened.
Randompc: RDM can do alot of jobs in PT
Randompc >> You use {Staff} {Healing Magic} {Refresh}
Half of me just wants to /blist him right now, but what the hell, my friends missed the Airship.
Randompc: RDM is a battle Mage, we can {Front Line Job} {Healing Magic} {Enfeebling Magic}
Randompc >> You bad RDM you need to {Refresh} {Healing Magic} Only
*Slams head into KBD* WHY MUST THIS HAPPEN... This is where I get pissed. The rest of the coversation is the usual line of how I am wasting my time using a sword blah, blah, blah. I think that I have this happen about once a week, usually in Jeuno since there is to much lag in Whitegate.

****NOTICE TO ALL OF THE PLAYERS OUT THERE****
1. Red Mage is one of the most highly versitable jobs out there.
2. There are many places that the RDM can fill in PT
3. Melee RDM is not only for Soloing
4. STOP TELLING OTHER PEOPLE HOW TO DO THERE JOBS!!!

Why is it that close to no one in this game understands just how versitile the RDM can be. A RDM can fill many gaps in party. In my time as a RDM as been Puller using Ranged or *gasp* the good old Dia pull. I have played main and back up healer when needed and of course my roll as Enfeebler is second to none. Outside of PT the RDM is unstoppable. There is no limit to what we can do.

PLEASE PEOPLE SHOW SOME LOVE FOR THE RDM!!! OH! and Stop Sending me bitchy tells when you see me running around with a Sword and Shield.

~*~Raven~*~