Oh Valkrum Dooms How I loathe thee...

Whenever I feel in need of alittle virtual masochism I head out to Valkrum Dunes. Today I must of been in need of the beating of my life since I all of my mass of wisdom took my level 19WAR out to a dunes party. I did not want a dunes party, but alas some days you take what you can get....


10 Things I hate about the dunes...

1. WARs who are voke-a-phobes: It is the dunes people, WARs Tank, and they need to provoke the mob, but when the mob is raping the WHM like fresh meat dropping the soap you need to use it. I know it may be scary and *gasp* you are going take some damage but FFS that is your job....

2. Drug Abusing BLMs: Tarutaru BLM with 2 Astral Rings, MP Earring, MP Food, and pretty much anything that will give them a drop of MP who spam Thunder and Blizzard faster than Chainspell and wonder why there is so much sand in there gums at the end of the day. Please Put down the fucking pixey sticks, take a valium and learn how to cast right. That way, when you add it up at the end of the day you will actual have *earned* EXP.


3. PLoobs: Picture this, Party of 6, No Sub Jobs, moderate gear (we are not talking gilsellers) who has a Level 75 PLing them... Now normally there is nothing wrong with this, PL is fine and very helpfull, but when you have no subs this means you are usually on your first trip to the dunes and therefore know jackshit about the game in general, let alone their job and later when they get to Qufim or Yuthunga Jungle they have no clue what to do... *bonus points awarded if they are in an endgame style shell and admit they have no level 75 chars at all.

4. Rank 10 Elitist: I really don't care that you have 5 level 75 jobs, Rank 10, CoP, RoZ and ToAU complete. At this point in time you are a level 15(insert whatever job here) DO NOT USE YOUR RANK AS A FUCKING EXCUSE TO TELL EVERYONE THAT THEY ARE DOING IT WRONG.... In fact I want you to use your "wisdom" and "experience" to be helpful, do not laugh at the WAR who has not learned to voke, explain how to use it. Don't join a PT and then demand leader because you obviously know more than a Rank 5 about making parties. Don't show up in all +1 gear and then tell everyone else they are gimp because they are wearing *gasp* the normal gear for that level.

5. No Logic PTs: I have Ranged Attack, we have no RNG or THF that can pull, so logic says that you:
A. Have the WAR with the Boomerang Pull
B. Have the WHM Pull
C. Have the WAR in level 7 gear ghetto pull using Provoke.
D. Let Everyone Pull, because it is only fair that we take turns
E. Any Answer but A.

If you said "E" you would be correct.

6. Nakie Parties: DO NOT COME TO VALKRUM DUNES NAKED AND THEN WONDER WHY YOU ARE PICKING SAND OUT OF YOUR GUMS. I am not asking for pimp, I am not even saying that you need level specific gear(thou that helps) but something, hell wear your starter gear and an Akerton, but have something that offers you def will be helpful. *bonus point for the Nakie player being a WAR or NIN...


7. Great Sword or Great Axe using WARs: This is a personal gripe and I find this more of the no sub-job set. They think that it is Uber to run around using a GS or GA on WAR because ooooh the DMG is huge... but then you watch them Whiff and a RDM using a Bee Spatha is out damaging them.

8. Sub Job insanity: MAGE/MELEE (Todays self-abuse featured a WHM/THF) or MELEE/MAGE WAR/WHM may be a Ghetto PLD, but really you have about 30MP, just sub MNK. ANYTHING /PUP but espeically WAR, this a new breed of Voke-a-phobe WARs who sub pet jobs to get out of having to actually Tank.

9. Melee Mage Power: This is for WHM, BLM & SMNs who think that need to take out there paddle and melee on every mob that is pulled into camp and then wonder why their teammates are dying or why there Cure has no effect on the mob. Bonus points awarded to Galka WHM and SMNs or Melee and go AFK

10. Skillchains and Magic Bursting: Any VD Veteran knows that Skillchains and Magic Burst happen by accident in the dunes. A well heeled party might be able to pull off some on purpose, but really it is rare. So please don't bitch that the No Sub Job player Fucked up your skillchain or don't get pissy when they ask what a skillchain is...


Stay Tuned folks since I still have not gotten WAR to 20. 2 hours of torture and I think I earned a whopping 1k EXP. I would of ditched the party, but eh, I had nothing better to do...